No turning back

I paid for my first half marathon yesterday.  There is no turning back now.  I did it early so I didn’t miss the deadline like I did for the last one.  L  Its early, but training has begun, yesterday.  I super excited about what will happen in 3 months.  On the other hand I am not looking forward to the training, for one reason.

Treadmills

I hate them.  I feel like I am going nowhere, I guess Im not really moving , and that it takes FOREVER to finish.  Heres the catch.  I HATE running at night alone.  Im a big chicken.  Im scared of someone jumping out of the bushes or getting hit by a car or rabbit dogs gnawing on my limbs before anyone finds me.  I know, irrational, but for whatever reason, I cant seem to do it alone.

Enter Death

Last night, I was supposed to run 2 miles at 11:18 pace.  Easy, I can do it in my sleep,  if Im running outside.  It was 7 before I could get it done so off to the gym I went. 

Kill me

After one mile, Im dying.  Not from exhaustion, from BOREDEM.  There is TV, but I left my headphones at work so I had no sound.  The music kept getting interrupted by announcements. And then the worse:  I feel like Im sprinting and I know Im not.  5.8 on a treadmill is not fast, but Im short so it feels that way.  I feel worn out but I know Im not.  Some endless cycle and in my head I keep saying “Only two more laps, only one more lap, only 20 more feet.  Kill me. 

The long runs I do on the weekend so Ill be outside.  In mid-week, I will have to run in the dark or get on the death machine.  Oh how will I ever run 8 miles on a treadmill?

Any advice?